Why She Did it
by RookieBlueEnthusian
Summary: All she knew was she saw Ford standing in the hallway, gun pointed at Marlo. Suggestion from a review from Impact, what if Ford had his gun pointed at Marlo, and Andy took a bullet. Instead of Sam taking one for Nick
1. 1

Why she did it? She didn't even really know why herself. All she knew was she saw Ford standing in the hallway, gun pointed at Marlo.

Andy and Sam had a moment of clarity before she found herself laying on the floor of 15 Division, hand gripping her now bleeding abdomen. "_Andy, I want you to be happy more than anything in the world more than anything I could ever want for myself, and you are; with him." _As he spoke those words she realized two things, that she wasn't in-love with Nick, it was easier to be with him, yes but her heart was still with Sam, and it probably always would be. And the second thing was that she wanted him to happy too, even if it was without her. It would break her heart everything she saw them together, but it would make her feel better knowing that he was truly happy.

So why she did it, why did she throw her arms in the air, pulling Ford's eyes and aim in her direction? Because she knew Sam was happy; without her and she wasn't about to let the one thing that made him happy get shot. So she called his name, and he pulled the trigger, he didn't miss like last time in the park. One shot, in the stomach, and god damn it hurt.

She selfishly chose to be Ford's target, because she realized that Sam didn't need her anymore, and that terrified her. She felt like her purpose in this world was unknown, sure, Nick needed her, but it wasn't the same. She didn't have to fight for her relationship with Nick, it just happened. But with Sam it was a battle, a struggle, confessing her feelings and him disappearing undercover. Then her finding him undercover and 'trying' to be _normal_ together. Jerry dying. Her leaving for Dakota. It was always a fight for them to try and make it work, Sam would be in and she'd be out. Or she would crave his protection and he would still be searching for stable ground between them.

What she didn't realize was that Sam would chose her, after she feel to the ground; he ran to her. He didn't check on Marlo, he went to her side. Telling her to relax that everything was going to be okay, even thought he was terrified of losing her; for real, forever.

And all Nick could do was watch, watch the woman he deeply cared for in protective arms of the man she truly loved.

She didn't take the bullet to save Marlo, she took it for Sam. So he could be happy, but he could only be happy with her.

Their ride to the ambulance only confirmed that more, Sam had never been one to show his emotions but this was potentially the last time he'd ever be able to say anything to her and he wanted to say everything he had been thing over the past year, "_McNally, you're... you're going to be fine. You're a fighter, and for once I'm going to do the talking." _She nodded, without speaking. "_I'm going to uh, tell you a story, one night after a really terrible shift, you had fallen asleep and uh I couldn't get my mind off the case, so I just was just laying there, you know, trying to sleep and uhh.." H_e reached his hand out and wrapped it in hers, _"You looked so peaceful and at ease, and then all of a sudden you slowly opened your eyes, and just smiled at me. You leaned and wrapped your one arm around my neck and kissed me, it was like you knew I needed you, and you woke up just to make me feel loved and okay again, right then at that very moment, I knew, that you could make any day I can better. Any terrible day, an amazing one with one kiss. I know it's mushy. " _She opened her mouth, "_That was a pretty good story," He knew that what he needed to say next, "I love you, I love you Andy McNally, you're my story McNally, you." He didn't know if she was too weak to answer or not wanting to ruin this amazing moment, kissing her on the top of the forehead before they took her out of the ambulance. _

_Sitting there all he knew was he was in-love with her, and he had no idea why she took the bullet for Marlo._


	2. 2

_Sitting there all he knew was he was in-love with her, and he had no idea why she took the bullet for Marlo._

Why didn't he tell her sooner, why didn't he tell her every thought going through his mind the second he saw her after the take down for Dakota?

Only a few hours ago he was standing in the middle of 15 Division telling her he couldn't be there anymore, with her. He couldn't watch her with Nick anymore, she didn't know he had a front row seat to their relationship. He could of stopped all of this if he had just been honest from the beginning, after she saw him kiss Marlo, he should of told her everything, how he was only with her to fill the void she left him after she walked away; **again.** How it was easy with Marlo, she didn't prey for him to open up, she was about to keep her work life and personal life completely separate.

But the truth was he missed being challenged by her, her fighting to get him open up made him feel like someone actually cared about him, and wanted to really get inside his head. He missed her caring, about everything, being an emotional sponge; feeling everyone's feelings. The idea of her not making it made his mind go dark, who would be there to make sure he was okay, and ask him the important questions; who are you? He didn't even know the answer to that question not now and certainly not when she asked him weeks ago, but he did know that she was apart of him, she was the reason he left undercover and went back to the streets, she brought him home, _again and again._

And now home was here, with her. God she needed to make it. She needed to hear him tell her how much he loved her, how she was his breath of fresh air, on the night rotation, how she babbled when she was trying to lie because she was the world's worst liar. He needed her to slowly open her Bambi eyes on the night he can't sleep and just tell him she loves him and set his soul at ease.

His elbows were on his thighs, and his hands hold his head, "_She made it through the surgery, you definitely have a fighter on your hands," _she was a fighter, always had been, probably always would be.

_"Doc can we see him? Please"_

_"Fine, one of you, one person."_

_"Right here_," Marlo said placing her hand on Sam's shoulders.

"_No, it's okay."_

_"It's fine, go_" she told him. He did fight it, he needed to see her, but in a way, an unexpected way it hurt him to see Marlo let him go, and see that hurt in her eye's but he needed to her to Andy.

Following the doctor to her recovery room, he wasn't ready to see her like this. Pale, emotion-less face with tubs and wires all around her. Just seeing her like this broke his heart, she looked so weak and fragile.

Sitting down her grabs her hands, she was cold, _"I'm going to tell you what I told you in that damn ambulance ,I love you Andy McNally, you're my story McNally, you. And like you said in the station I can't just leave, because the only way I would ever leave again is if you were with me. Because I am not ready, or willing to see my life without you again, I honestly can't even really remember what it was like before you, I mean I remember it, the events and all that but the emotions and feelings I have now, make all the time before that seem like I was numb, just letting life pass me by. And I can't go back to feeling numb, I can't. I love you too much to do that." _He meant every word he said, even when they weren't together he still loved her, when she was with Luke, and even after she left, his heart still held love for her, and hope she would come back to him.

Rubbing his thumb over the top of her hand he continued, "_And I meant what I said, I screwed us up, I walked away, and I pushed you away, but Andy please, if you wake up, I know we can work through this, because this, this whole bantering back and forth, you laughing at my lame joke book jokes, me making fun of your need to feel everyone's feelings, it just makes us work, it makes me love you even more than I already do_." He really was terrified of her not making it, of her not waking up, of her not being able to hear all the things he needed to say, to her. "_I'm not going anywhere, okay?_" He whispered in her ear as he kissed her forehead.

Sitting there, seconds feeling like minutes, minutes feeling like hours. Every silence moment of all the machines around him, making his ears ring in the quiet.

_'Why did you do it Andy?'_ He kept thinking, why would you take a bullet for her, you don't owe her a damn thing. _"Why did you do it Andy?" _He said quietly, not expecting the words to actually come out of his mouth.

_"For you." she said ever so quietly. _


	3. 3

_"For you." __she said ever so quietly._

She knew why she did it, she did because she wanted him to be happy, and she truly believed in that moment when her arms were in the air and her voice yelling Ford's name that Sam was and would always be happier with Marlo. In a way it was Andy's way out, instead of seeing Sam everyday with her, watching them leave work hand-in-hand, show up at the penny; together. Just seeing him with somebody else who wasn't her, slowly broke her heart, everyday, little by little it hurt a little more than it did the day before. So she took the bullet for Marlo, so she wouldn't have to watch him with her anymore because there was a huge chance she could die.

Die for the man she loves.

_"Andy..."_ he said, brushing her hair out of her face and kissing her forehead. He felt like he could breath again, she was here, she was awake and she was going to be okay. But then it all hit him at once, this was his fault. He was the one that brought Marlo into their lives, and she was the one that dragged Ford into the picture and if they had never started to date, then Andy would never of been shot. This was all his fault.

Being able to look at his face and read it was never one of the many talents, but in this moment she could read it like a book, he blamed himself.

_"Sam don't okay?"_ his focus was brought back to her, _"Sam, I need to tell you something, I did this because I want **you** to be happy.. I want you to feel free, and open with whoever you chose. And in that moment when I saw Ford pointing his gun at Marlo, I had this feeling and you're the one who's always telling me to trust my gut, that if she died you would never be happy and I couldn't bare to watch you unhappy for the rest of you life. So I please, please just don't let me having an extra belly button be for nothing, be happy okay?"_ he could see her eyes welting with tears, _"be happy Sam, because my heart can't take seeing you miserable, I love you Sam Swarek and all I want is for you to be happy."_

She didn't remember what he said in the ambulance or maybe she wanted him to make his choice with a clear mind, you know without her life hanging in the balance. But it was never a choice for him, it was always her, and it would always be her. She was the one that made his racing mind calm like an ocean, she's been there for four years without even really knowing it, she would be the one allergic to silence in the squad car when she was a rookie and they were just driving around, saving his ass on her second day on the job with Anton Hill, finding him at the Alpine Inn, she was always there for him when he needed in the most, she'd there when he didn't even know he needed her there, saving him, reminding him there's always something to come home for.

Marlo was there for him, but not in the way she was, she never pushed him, he felt like she never needed him. He wasn't the needy type but there was something about Andy needing him that gave him self assurance. "_Andy, I can't be happy unless,"_ he paused, he wanted what he said next to be meaningful and not ruin it with awkward umm's and uhhh's in between thoughts. _" I can't be happy unless I'm with you. You have this effect on me, I can't explain it, and I don't want to understand it, you aren't just apart of my life, you are my life. And seeing you get shot made my life flash before my eyes, and you need to know when I saw my life, it had everything to do with you. The kids, house with the white picket fence, a dog; all of it. My life isn't worth a damn without you."_

Hearing him say all this was all she needed, "_Good, because I really need you right now."_ Her face fell into his chest, and she let the tears flow.

_"I'm not going anywhere." H_e told her, wrapping his arms around her. "_And I meant what I said, I love you Andy McNally."_

_"I love you, Sam Swarek."_

* * *

_Fini._


End file.
